this schedule has resulted in much more stress and intensity than i imagined! i also feel like i have wished away the summer (because i kept wishing the stress would end :))... well, moreso, i just feel like i didn't get to have much of a summer. this stress was felt by many students, so much so that one of my professors apologized for the "abusive" schedule we had to undergo and another professor said that she had never seen such high levels of stress.
one of the highlights, in the midst of this stress, was my required attendance at three different 12-step meetings (two were Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and one was a Narcotics Anonymous meeting). and, in some ways, i feel like i have discovered a really powerful way to do church :). i say that a bit tongue-in-cheekly, but i have been very powerfully impacted by these meetings. the individuals there are so loving and gracious. and they have all hit rock bottom, so they function without any pretenses. a part of me is seriously considering just going to one open meeting consistently for awhile. another part of me is considering taking my "addiction to control" through the 12-step process... either way, they are wonderful spaces in which i always left feeling connected and loved.
but now, on august 13, i have 10 days to rest and refresh before i begin my counseling internship at north park university!
there are a lot of changes that have been occurring and are on the horizon to occur. these include:
- saying good-bye to my first apartment and roommate (who was wonderful!) and moving to a new apartment, new neighborhood and new roommates!
- clinical internship where i will get to actually do what i think i love and what i think i could be good at!
- new classes - two of which i'm excited about.
- learning new potential skills doing research (potentially) with loyola's center for the human rights of children and an international ngo here in chicago. these possibilities include: fund-raising, continuing my research on domestic workers (potentially localizing in chicago), addressing labor rights issues for domestic work, researching and analyzing global issues affecting vulnerable youth, assisting the organization in their work in haiti... nothing is set in stone at all, but it's so exciting to think about!
- beginning the job search wherever in the world i want to look!
- continuing to invest in friendships and building new relationships with people.
- RUNNING A MARATHON!
- and more.
but, as always happens in lull/transition times, i always get a bit sad, nostalgic and reflective. in spite of some difficult events i'm experiencing currently, i am so blessed and have so many lovely people around me and wonderful things to look forward to. but it is in these times that i realize how quickly time and circumstance change and how much you valued what was and hope that what will be will have equal, if not more, significance.
with sadness, hope (and lots of sweat... no air conditioning + 80% humidity + 85 degrees + pure sunshine = hot, hot, hot apartment) i take the next tiny step.
Interesting observations on the Al-Anon meetings. One of the areas I think American churches often fail is at helping us realize how bad we are. When I encounter people who have "hit rock bottom," they tend to have a much better understanding of grace and the need for a savior than many Christians, especially those who have grown up in the church (like me). As a wise man once said, "The good news is only good because the bad news is so bad!"
ReplyDeleteWell said, Leah. You do, indeed, have a lot to anticipate and be excited about in the midst of those things that aren't so great. Looking forward to co-habitating with you in just a few weeks. :)
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