hOpE

this morning i awoke with hope.
and i realized that hope is a rare commodity in this city (and, probably in many cities).
it's rare and valuable because it is so easily extinguished.
you can awake with hope,
walk out the door,
and have it taken away instantly.
like blowing out a candle flame.

i awake with hope often.
but i experience the extinguishing often too.
smiling at someone on the street... they make a sexual comment.
seeing new relationships form... hearing about the four couples that are divorcing.
coming to america for new life... being told that you cannot have any help when you get there.

there's a client we can't do anything for.
there's the paranoid schizophrenic that tells the same story at every coffee shop, but swears at people if they try to help.
there's people asking for money and you want to look them in the eyes, treat them as a human, but they've been treated so inhumanely for so long you only see emptiness staring back, scaring you.
the old man at the bus stop who touches your arm and comments on the weather... instead of enjoying his naivete, you wonder about his motives.
the public schools that do not get funding each year and desperately need it.

the churches who think they're doing a good thing by building a large, beautiful facility in the projects... but they've actually pushed the poor out... again... the poor are constantly being pushed out... every time you see an old, run down part of town be "restored"... make sure you ask where its former residents went... they weren't all crack addicts and gangsters...

hope.
i'm glad there is eternal hope.
hope that may feel extinguished at night,
is always renewed at dawn.