two thought-provoking experiences today:
I
this morning i read/"meditated on" luke 7:38... "Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
now, i'm not a fan of my tendency to think, "oooh i'll give because there IS a reward in the end."
but regardless of that, it's a passage that challenged me to give generously.
a few hours later i was in the thorek hospital waiting with a client for some medical appointments. she needed to pay a $2 co-pay for her appointment. while trying to explain what she needed to do, i fished out a $5 bill from my wallet and mimed giving it to the woman and saying "two".
i also had another $5 and a $10 bill in my wallet. this woman needed just $2 for medical care. here i was miming with my wealth and hoping she had $2 to pay.
give and it will be given to you...
but, this verse flashed more vibrantly across my frontal lobe when another woman in the waiting room became angry with the receptionist because she did not have $2 for her co-pay. as she walked away, she petitioned the room saying, "does anyone have $2? i just need $2 to see the doctor and i really need to see him." i caught her eye and shook my head. she stared for awhile.
was i to give? she was african-american, smelled like smoke and looked like someone whose $2 had been spent elsewhere.
was i judgmental? racist?
i felt terrible in that moment. would jesus have given the $2? is it even really about that issue?
but, later that day, i saw her on the bus. she was holding food in a wrapper that looked like it had been newly acquired. she got off the bus counting her change.
so much gray. so many questions.
.....
II
what further challenged me was a documentary and follow-up discussion i attended tonight. the subject was the controversial father mike pfleger (priest and community organizer in south chicago). father mike was present for the viewing and following discussion.
i was glad he was present because i preferred the real-life father mike to the one in the documentary. here are some interesting thoughts from the follow-up Q&A:
(father mike summarized) the church, being the institution responsible for the transformation of people's hearts, is responsible for the transformation of people's hearts related to racism.
"the greatest blueprint for the church was set by dr. king..."
"if a neighborhood isn't changed by their church, it should be shut down..." reflecting that value was an ordinance he tried to pass in the city of chicago that would require: "any church that is not offering at least one program for its community should have to pay taxes.
"you have to differentiate between the church and christ."
though some of his moves have been controversial, i grew to respect this man tonight:
1. he has been in a fight with the institution of the church all his life, but he continues to choose into it and believe that God can use it for change...
2. though he is a charismatic, christian leader, he has not had a huge moral failure (please jesus, keep this true).
3. he was very real, authentic and theologically sound.
4. his love for his church, st. sabina, is incredibly evident and godly.
5. his obvious passion for social justice and neighborhood transformation with christ at the center.
he has his "rough spots" but, to quote my latest favorite memoir, "frank [her pastor] wasn't God's mouthpiece or Satan's emissary. he was a human being, capable of great insight and great blunders. he was just a guy."
.....
these experiences challenged me on several levels, but these in particular:
- i think jesus was speaking to my recent doubts that true justice is really possible through the church and my loss of hope in christians. i feel i'm turning a corner... accepting church leaders as humans (which is funny, seeing that i was one) and churches as "things" run by humans. this isn't disappointing. it's freeing. it gives me hope that change is possible.
- am i called to live in the south/west side of chicago? last march during a spiritual desert, i first sensed jesus in the gang-ridden neighborhoods of north omaha and didn't want to leave..
- but maybe the most important challenge, is the reminder that, as much as i may try, iraqi's can pull off a white, leather office chair way better than i ever could...
florida. that is one assyrian who loves her chair :)
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