raw.jeremiah's song

the past few weeks have found me in the process of mourning. initially there was much numbness. a friend said perhaps that was okay because the fullness would be too much. she was right. currently i find myself in the fullness of mourning.

to be sensitive and brief, i have been walking through the depth of hurt and anger that result from being deceived and used under the illusion of being loved, as well as from the realization that some of my deepest longings and dreams have presently been put to death. through this i have accessed a well of pain i thought unimaginable.

the context of this mourning is in a difficult place with the lord as he feels far.

but there is a head knowledge comfort that i've found in these verses. often, as thoughts and emotions swell, i've whispered them to bring help:

lamentations 3:22-33

²² Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

²⁴ I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

²⁵ The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;

²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

²⁷ It is good for a man to bear the yoke
while he is young.

²⁸ Let him sit alone in silence,
for the LORD has laid it on him.

²⁹ Let him bury his face in the dust—
there may yet be hope.

³⁰ Let him offer his cheek to one who would strike him,
and let him be filled with disgrace.

³¹ For men are not cast off
by the Lord forever.

³² Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.

³³ For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to the children of men.